Legendary Session 11: Manuel of Flesh Golems (or How Long Can a Halfling Hold Her Breast)
So we have slain the dragon, and cowed many of the inhabitants, but we are now at the top of an angry beehive.
We go into a room and it is a treasure room filled with more gold than we’ve ever seen. We manage to cross a bunch of pit traps, only taking minimal damage.
Adjacent is a magical armory, which Electa wanders into like the uncouth barbarian she is, and Mitzusa, distracted by dem titties, mentions, too late, that there are magical guardian armors of helmed horrors. We slay them and earn 2,000 experience for the encounter. Eyms picks up the pieces and collects a complete, if mismatched suit, of adamantine armor. We find an ivory statuette of a dire ram (goat). There’s also a Sword of Dragon Slaying. There’s some Hide Armor +2 which Tuber dons, a Ring of Spell Storing which Mitzusa puts on, and Electa gets a vampiric bow.
We enter the door to the north and find a horrifying operating theater filled with flayed bodies and tinctures all around and the Propnonomnicon. Also, there’s a Manual of Flesh Golems and a Book of Bodily Health. 2 1st Level, 2nd Level, and 3rd level spell scrolls, respectively, and 1 4th and 5th level spell scroll respectively. Mitzusa gets totally engrossed in the book, so Electa straps Mitzusa to her chest where she can snuggle up and keep decoding.
A wizard Timon Baal comes running in while the rest of the party is studying the book, and Eyms tripped him up and put him to the question. The wizard doesn’t know much about the book, except that it is of great evil and vile darkness. He knows of a Shrine of Hecate in this temple, and it’ll will disrupt her connection to her servants.
We enter into the throne room, and disarm the trap. One Statue is a Maiden Fair, One Statue is the Mother, and one is the Crone. Each is a statue of another Goddess, but only one can be purified. Or does it? We manage to try to cleanse all of them, but we only succeed in cleansing one. Meanwhile, Eyms gets his cursed modified, and he gains control of shapeshifiting from Hera for trying to cleanse the altars.
We lead Timon back to his laboratory, and it turns out he should have been named Victor Frankenstein. He promises us to have his flesh golem fight on our side. While the party is arguing about what to do with this knowledge, Timon throws the heart into the golem (because he couldn’t resist) and it… doesn’t spring to life, so Timon is all “Well, shit,” until the golem springs to life with purple light and punches Timon into the wall.
The golem is Hades, and he offers us a job to be his reapers, and that the gods, or “the beings you call gods” [Dun dun dun!] have been fighting for ascension rites, but Hades has been playing the long game all this time and he’s got a long con going on.
We go to a palanthir and we talk to Sulla who is actually rather charismatic. He agrees to parley with us in secret.